To Do or Not

That is the question most mornings. Without an external schedule to guide me, setting daily priorities that are entirely mine to determine can be a challenge. Not that there aren’t plenty of choices -   ongoing virtual contacts, volunteer projects,  exercise routines, housekeeping chores, hiking, biking, sewing new masks, reading a growing pile of books. But when I wake up in the morning and first figure out what day of the week it is (never mind the month or year) I then realize that, beyond the few items actually committed to my calendar, it doesn’t really matter.  I can do what I want this day. A surprisingly daunting position.

My best days are ones that have at least one pre-determined major task to accomplish, like cleaning and polishing the wood floors, trying out a new mask pattern, reorganizing computer files, pulling weeds, answering or cleaning up a long list of unattended emails, or the still to be addressed stacks of accumulated paper files, flies, and moths piled up in my personal writing shed. The longer that last task gets postponed the more the ‘out of sight out of mind’ strategy deploys. I have not been over there in weeks, partly in fear of the horde of moths that will confront me as soon as I open the screen door. Not to mention the dead ones on the floor I will encounter once I step inside. 

But when I have accomplished one of those tasks, even if it only takes a couple of hours in the morning, I generally feel  I have earned my choice of afternoon activity or lack thereof. I can enjoy my book, nap, or aimlessly wander around on the internet without guilt and with a delightful sense of earned pleasure. I need the kind of permission that comes with first meeting an obligation in order to enjoy a personal freedom. Allowing a day to simply unfold is an art I appreciate but have yet to master.

By: Bonnie Shetler

Now Where Was I?

My sisters-in-law granted permission to share their

recent exchange in a family post.

I am always reassured by our common experiences.

By: Bonnie Shetler

Home Is Where The Music Is

This is a really amazing youTube production by Sound Affects, a local organization dedicated to bringing music into the lives of isolated elders. It is a two hour musical event where young local musicians perform music that speaks to the generation most impacted by current quarantine rules. Local nursing homes made an event out of the original performance on June 11. The music is wonderful and the intergenerational aspect of this 2-hour concert is very touching.

https://youTube/SYokdzKR2p4

By: Bonnie Shetler

Apart

 

Apart

 

Brenna James, my youngest grandchild, has lived in Tokyo since she was two. She and I have not had many chances to hang out together over the years. She will be 15 in a couple of weeks. I have watched from afar as she grew into a beautiful young woman.

 

Gradually, over time, I have come to realize that while her heritage is both Japanese and American, she was becoming Japanese in her everyday life. Her lifestyle, language, and cultural orientation, I thought, had become totally Japanese.

 

While I understood this was only natural, it saddened me to think that my relationship with her was practically non-existent and would only grow more so with the passage of time.

 

And then, a few months ago, things began to change.

 

Brenna wrote a poem she titled I’m two but full. Below are a few lines from her poem that surprised and delighted me.

 

“I’m two pieces, like the way you split KitKats into two equal pieces.”

 

“I have two countries to represent in my body.

I have the responsibility to be able to know that nationality

I have the right to choose which one I want to make my home

But I don’t, because both of them are equally my home.”

 

“I have a full heart

Even if I have to change who I am between cultures

I will never change the kindness I have towards anyone in the world.

 

My outside might change but my inside won’t.

I’m always going to be two pieces

But always full—at the same time.

 

I was inspired by her words and grateful to know that she embraced her American heritage along with her Japaneseness.

 

And then, what seems to me like a small miracle occurred. She and her dad, who lives in the US, had been in touch daily via an app that allows both visual and audible international exchange. Brenna wanted to increase her English vocabulary. In order to do that, father and daughter were sharing articles. Brenna read aloud and when she came to an unfamiliar word, they discussed it, she learned its correct pronunciation, and then she wrote a sentence using the word. They set aside a time every day to do this. I was thrilled when they invited me to join them.

 

Together we have been reading excerpts from Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers. He writes beautifully, with great clarity, and he uses plenty of “hard” words. Brenna takes them all on with glee. We laugh about alternate meanings and some of the craziness of the English language. Is the word “read” past or present tense? Or both? And how do you spell the past tense?

 

Sometimes our conversation strays. “Yuk,” said Brenna. “Dad thinks uni (that’s raw sea urchins) are delicious. I think they are disgusting.” And then they went on to talk  about durian, a fruit that is prized b y many but that smells so bad that by law you cannot carry it onto a train in Singapore. This morning we were together for more than an hour and a half.

 

She’s a long way away, and who knows when she will be able to travel to the US? No matter. 

 

I have my granddaughter back. 

By: Libby James

We Need Our Grandmothers

What strange times we’re in.  In my home in Fort Collins I feel like I’m in a little bubble surrounded by turmoil and pain.  Yes, I pay attention, but I feel so protected from the direct pain suffered by people who have lost their jobs and income, people who have to put themselves in danger just to support themselves, and people who live under the threat of violence and discrimination every day.  A friend sent me a video the other day of a poem that highlights a commonality of grandmothers.  I am not a grandmother, but I would love to be and grandmothers have had a distinct influence on my life.  The poem made me feel a little better about the world, and the influence we can have on it as older people who share our love and experience with others.

https://vimeo.com/426276718?fbclid=IwAR23LOVTxPkkMiJtNB0tGQzKSE_5M3Dw0GSg6-aj12w5NaHYk7Xs2cAZZPg

From Sue Ballou

By: Bonnie Shetler

Zooming Right Along

For many of us  Zoom has lately been the only real connection to the outside world. And so to PAFC it seemed important to assist isolated older adults unfamiliar with Zoom to use it to communicate with family, friends, service providers and fellow travelers. We are now in the midst of a short term project, funded by the Larimer County Office on Aging, to identify isolated individuals who have yet to meet up with this free, easy to use program and get them on board.

We are in the process of showing folks how to subscribe to Zoom and then demonstrating its use through brief Zoom classes for the totally uninitiated. We are matching individuals up with volunteer neighbors/caregivers/friends who will attend classes with them and be available for ongoing support when needed. While access to wifi is essential, having the right equipment is not. Part of the grant enabled us to purchase a limited number of Kindle Fire notebooks to distribute to those who are unable to purchase their own devices.

If you or anyone you know is interested in participating as a volunteer (no expertise required, just a kind heart and interest in learning) or  recipient, more information is available on the PAFC website at https://www.pafclarimer.org/tech-project-info.  Our mission is that no one remain isolated from the outside world unless they choose to be.


By: Partnership for Age-Friendly Communities

A Happy Mother's Day

It’s not even mid afternoon and already I’ve had an amazingly wonderful Mother’s Day—one of the best I can remember.

It began with a Zoom gathering with my two sons and two daughters, ages 55 through 60. I could not be more proud of them. They have produced six granddaughters and six grandsons, 11 of them between 21 and 31 and a “caboose,” who will be 15 this summer.

This morning my kids each shared the good things that have grown out of the lifestyle they have been living for the last couple of months. Most of their children have returned home and are working or studying remotely. The families have been having a blast!. They play cards, piece together enormous puzzles, cook, garden, do crafty things, and run, bike, golf, and hike together.

Fortunately, none of them have lost their jobs though there has been a pay cut, and there are changes afoot. One had to furlough 200 people. Painful. Another is investing in a farm produce-food truck business. And two are looking at new opportunities—in a law firm and in an online teaching position.

They report sleeping a little later, learning to “go slow,” spending less time in their cars, and gaining new insights into work activities, sorting out those that are the most important and letting other things go.

To one degree or another, all of them are extroverts who thrive on their relationships with others. But for now, they are thriving on being at home and enjoying their offspring.

It will be interesting to see how this episode will change, and perhaps enrich, their lives.

Here they are 50 years ago!

By: Libby James